The Book

"Fernando Alcántar has been on a remarkable journey that could easily have cost him his life.  But as we learn in this challenging memoir, he has fought his way to the other side and came out whole with a clear understanding of his sexuality, his spirituality, and his mission in life. Fernando is an inspiration! – Eric Marcus, author of 'Coming Out to Play' with Robbie Rogers, and 'Breaking the Surface' with Greg Louganis

In this exceptionally moving and soul-searching memoir, Fernando Alcántar recounts his incredible journey from poor Catholic boy on the dusty streets of Mexico to globetrotting missionary and high-profile Christian leader in the United States—where he eventually left his celebrated life behind to advocate for the liberating power of reason and equality. With heart-wrenching honesty, he shares stories of trauma, tragedy, prejudice, uncertainty, survival, and, ultimately, discovery. In the process, he gives a voice to thousands who are hiding in the shadows, afraid to publicly question their religious or sexual identity for fear of isolation and retaliation. He also makes a call for tolerance and understanding, while heralding the natural beauty of human qualities like courage, kindness, and love. 

Although Alcántar's story is a highly personal one, history shows that the best way to chart any new journey is to first see how others have traveled before—whether to avoid their missteps or to uncover a well-trodden path. So join him on his fascinating and enlightening journey of adventure, celebration, despair, reflection, and, finally, liberation. You will discover that his is not simply a Mexican story or an American story, a heterosexual’s story or homosexual’s story, a Christian’s story or an atheist’s story. Rather, his is a universal story­—one uniquely about and for our times.


"Each one of us who has trudged the dusty trail from faith to reason has a fascinating saga to relate, but none of them is more poignant than Fernando Alcántar's."  Dan Barker, Co-President of the Freedom from Religion Foundation, and author of 'Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists'

“This is as much an adventure and coming-of-age story as it is a coming-out story (both gay and atheist). It clearly shows how sincere and fervent religious belief erodes when logic and clear thinking creep in. Beware, Christian fundamentalists—this book is dangerous to your beliefs, but is a secular blessing to the rest of us.” — Linda LaScola, cofounder of The Clergy Project and author with Daniel C. Dennett of 'Caught in the Pulpit: Leaving Belief Behind'

"Alcántar provides an autobiographical success story for genuine and rare self-created critical thinking. This is a must read for all those who believe or have believed in the power of God and faith." – David Tamayo, Founder of Hispanic American Freethinkers, Inc.

"Autobiography of a brave struggle to realize that the loss of both an absent birth father and an absent adoptive one, cannot be replaced by a third absent Father. This memoir details a journey of wishing and hoping for clear answers, to instead accepting the complex, uncertain and layered reality of adulthood. Recommend this intense, passionate read to those experiencing confusion or doubt about their faith." – Eleanor Cowan, author of 'A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer'